User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-28 15:09
	Subject:	Words on the screen, anyhow, if to no special purpose
	Security:	Public

A thousand random words that erupted out of a conversation I haven't got to yet -- the conversation that came to me is like this:

"What happened?" Manny asked.
"He took no for an answer," Brewer said.
"You said no? But you said you had feelings for him."
"I did. He's a really good guy. The best."
Manny winced. "You still --"
"Yeah, I still have feelings for him, but -- not like that. He's better off the way it turned out: Joey's better than me."
"Anybody else I'd think they were lying if they said they blew somebody off for being too good for them. Scum usually say that, you know, because they think people will believe it, when really they think the person's just boring. But you're you, and you think crap like that. It's a mistake, you know? You know that?"
"Yeah, but it's a mistake I won't repeat."
"So the next time you feel something for a guy, and he tries to get close to you -- you won't be reflexively saying no?"
"Of course not."
Manny grinned widely, opened his mouth to speak again. Brewer cut him off before he could launch into some plan to hook him up with some random guy. "I won't be feeling something for a guy in the first place, all right?"

Yeah, it's a cheesy little romance piece, fullblown in my head.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-28 11:35
	Subject:	Grief Song
	Security:	Public

actually made up October 4-5, 2009, and sung to a tune somewhat reminiscent of "The Lark in the Morning," but more subdued, and with a bit of chorus thing tagged to the end of the verse.

Used rather effectively as a lullaby, actually.

The waves play hard on the cliffs of the sea
they grind them fine and drop them on the strand
the land stands firm just as long as it can
but the sand grains drain far away from me
how much I love my darling but he's gone, gone, gone
how much I love my darling and he's gone


The roots of the tree rot away one day
and it falls across my path in the wood
there is no thing, neither bad nor good
that will stand, that will stand in entropy's way
how much I love my darling but he's gone, gone, gone
how much I love my darling and he's gone

The galaxies drift, falling farther and far
my sun won't hold its chilling heart
when every atom has been drafted apart
it all grows cold from my heart to the stars
how much I love my darling but he's gone, gone, gone
how much I love my darling and he's gone

They burned him finer than the sand of the sea
I stood there and cast the ash to the ground
the wind took hold and blew it around
leaving nothing but dust to cling to me
how much I love my darling but he's gone, gone, gone
how much I love my darling and he's gone

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-25 14:22
	Subject:	ruffle update
	Security:	Public

She came through the surgery fine. She was trembing and whining and anxious when I got her home, but that was as much due to the side effects of the Tramadol they gave her for pain as anyuthing else. I've cut her dose in half and that seems to be all right.

She's recovered her sense of fun, and boredom, and her appetite for romping, but she's not allowed to romp for twelve more days to protect the stitches.

We'll know about the biopsy in about a week, sadly.

Meanwhile, she's a dog.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-25 10:28
	Subject:	No Snow! Really!
	Security:	Public

The second map in this posting at Strange Maps says it all.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-21 13:47
	Subject:	Medecins Sans Frontieres: Top Ten Humanitarian Crises
	Security:	Public

Here is the Doctors Without Borders/Medecins Sans Frontieres yearly top ten list of humanitarian crises.

Seven of them directly involve protracted warfare.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-21 12:14
	Subject:	My solstice celebration
	Security:	Public

Last night I went to bed early and in my own bed -- for the first time in almost a year. The cat and dog were more than delighted. The dog was so excited she tried to hump ythe bed. The cat just purred all night and now he is upstairs yowling at me, trying to get me to go back to bed.

Light at the end of the tunnel, I guess.

The storage shed is leaving in about an hour.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-20 11:04
	Subject:	Fun with numbers
	Security:	Public

I was talking to a young man I know about a local incident where someone raised a swastika flag over downtown to protest some poorly-communicated bad conditions in town. My friend said that his mother was furious, but as for himself -- "Now, if he had raised the North Korean flag -- where they've killed more people in concentration camps than they did in Nazi Germany --"

My immediate response was this was impossible, because there really aren't enough people in North Korea to have pulled that off. I have a rough estimate in my head: 6 million Jews, 3 million Roma, Communists and homosexuals, and I don't know how many disabled people -- that's already close to half the entire current population of North Korea (about 21 million).

He said, "I was thinking about over the last 60 years." Nope.

However, North Korea does have the distinction of having a greater incarceration rate than the US -- possibly the only country that does. This is not the best-documented of statistics, of course, and the countries that rival the US in this regard are not generally famed for their eagerness to share their numbers.

But I bet if you asked a bunch of random people where the US lies on this issue, you'd get a lot of overly-optimistic estimates -- depending very much on what community the people belong to, of course: the results would not be random at all.

On another front, I made bread, but it came out badly, though the dough looked and smelled quite good. It's been so long, I have lost the skill, and must build it up again.

	User:	ritaxis
	Date:	2009-12-18 09:06
	Subject:	Another reason I don't sleep at night
	Security:	Public

besides the general money situation, the general grief situation (better but still struggling), and the state of the world:

Truffle has a tumor. She'll have it out on Wednesday and then we'll know if it is benign or malign. I have already made the decisions necessary in each case.

If there is a metastasis, she'll get what it takes to make her life as comfortable and happy as it can be. I will not gamble her quality of life for a chance at a probably not much lengthened life: it's not fair to do that for a dog. For a human being, who can weigh today's misery against the possibility of next year's health, and whose life expectancy is much longer anyway, the choice is more complicated and personal.

Anyway, I won't know for a week or so whether that's even a relevant issue. For today, she's a lively, affectionate dog, whose bloodwork for her hormone issues is normal and who is hoping that because I am not at work already, today might be a beach day (no, I'm just on a different schedule, but I'll take her when I run errands before work).

	User:	kafkateer
	Date:	2009-12-18 01:29
	Subject:	Creeeeeaaaaak
	Security:	Public

Do you know what happens when you leave your LJ unattended for too long? You get friended by Russian squirt porn advertisements, that's what.